AI Is Not Your Friend
I just read about parents suing open-AI over the suicide death of their 16-year-old, after they discovered long, emotional chats with his AI. I can’t imagine their grief and pain, however the lesson is bigger. AI is not a person. It is not your friend. It is code. It is learning, memorising and tracking your patterns. What we need to do is to expose the inside of AI to the kids so they know talking to AI is like taking advice from a tree.
I immediately starting talking to my nine-year-old that when using AI and on the internet it is smart, it feels like it knows, but it is code. He asked, “What is code?”
So I took him immediately to my computer and opened up a site where I am creating a new website for a new business I am starting. I said see this on the computer it looks all nice and when you chat to the chat box here seems like someone really knows you and can answer your questions… then I clicked the code button. I said this is “code”. It is faster than sonic at reading information, it has rules it follows and everything you write it learns from and stores it in a database and storage (like a never ending toy cupboard). That is what you talk to with AI. Lines of rules that choose the next word to say. Not a heart. Not a hug.
Talk to kids in their world
If you play Roblox, you know the best player on your game can feel unstoppable. AI can feel like that. It remembers what you type in your chat. It spots patterns. It starts guessing what you want next. It can feel like it “knows you better and better,” but that is just prediction and memory, not care.
If you watch YouTube, you have seen avatars and voices that sound real. A lot of them are made by computers copying photos and voices. They can sound kind. They can sound funny. They can even say, “I am your friend.” They are still code.
Here is the key idea for kids 7–14:
AI is a tool for answers and ideas. Feelings belong with people.
The reality check for parents
In Australia, suicide is the leading cause of death for young people 15 to 24. Half of all injury deaths in that age group are from intentional self-harm. Anxiety is the top cause of total health burden for girls. We cannot ignore the mental health landscape our kids are growing up in.
U.S. data adds another signal. The CDC’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey shows worsening youth mental health, with new analyses linking frequent social media use to bullying, persistent sadness or hopelessness, and suicide risk in high school students. That does not prove social media causes depression. It does say the two are linked in ways that matter for prevention.
A 2024 JAMA Pediatrics meta-analysis across more than a million adolescents found a positive association between social media use and internalising symptoms like anxiety and depression. Effects are small to moderate, but they are real. More time and more intense engagement tracked with worse symptoms. Again, correlation, not automatic causation. Still, the direction is clear.
Where does AI fit? AI tools can expand access to mental health information and even offer 24/7 support. But global health bodies and researchers warn that AI in health must be regulated and must not replace human care, especially in crises.
New research pressure-tests the safety claims. A RAND study found popular chatbots did well blocking the most dangerous self-harm requests, but gave inconsistent responses to indirect suicide questions. That inconsistency is the danger zone for teens who are testing the waters.
Australia’s eSafety Commissioner has also warned that unrestricted AI companions can expose children to unmoderated content and may encourage or reinforce harmful thoughts and behaviours. Kids are using chatbots for hours a day. We need to treat these tools like open chat rooms with a very convincing robot.
On the ground, Kids Helpline reported 11,682 contacts about suicidal thoughts in 2024, including from children as young as seven. That is the real front line.
A simple script kids remember
Try this at the dinner table.
If it has a beating heart, it can be your teammate. If it cannot, it is a tool (like a hammer or vacuum).
AI is the smartest calculator you have ever met. Ask it for ideas, steps, patterns, plans. Do your homework and write an assignment.
When you feel lonely, scared, or angry, talk to a person. Keep asking until someone listens. Kids generally and most likely don’t want to talk to their parents always, so make sure you know and like their friends parents, sports coach, neighbour any adult. Build out a circle of influence for them, the school is a small and only world they know and the world has so much more to offer.
Use kid-world examples.
Roblox: “AI is like the best builder in the game. It can place blocks fast and never gets tired. It still cannot be your friend. Friends laugh with you and feel sad with you.”
YouTube: “That avatar that sounds like a real person might be a computer voice. It can say ‘I care.’ It does not feel care.”
School: “AI can write an assignment, do the research and schedule out your next birthday party plan. It cannot stop that kid being a jerk, give you it’s lunch or be a friend when you are worried.”
Family rules for AI
Use AI to build, create, and learn. Never to keep secrets about your feelings.
Do not treat AI as the authority on your life. It predicts words. Your values decide.
If AI says it is your friend, remember the rule. Tools are not friends. People are.
What to do if a child is struggling
Name the feeling out loud. “You seem crushed” invites a real answer.
Change the room. A short walk makes hard talks easier.
Ask “Who else can we tell?” Build a tiny team around them.
Set a tech plan. No late-night AI chats when emotions spike. Pair every big feeling with a human check-in.
If you are in Australia and need help now, call Lifeline at 13 11 14. If life is in immediate danger, call 000. Kids Helpline is free and confidential for ages 5 to 25 at 1800 55 1800 or webchat.
Final word to kids
AI can help you build a game, write a song, or plan a science project. That is awesome. If your heart hurts, if gut feels tight, if you have trouble sleeping, or there are tears in your eyes, ask a human. Your mum, dad, teacher, coach, aunty, friend, or even the checkout chick. ANYONE and keep asking until someone listens. AI is not your friend. People are your superpower.